What Is the Anesthesia That Makes People Say Funny Stuff
We've all heard about how people apparently reveal their biggest secrets while intoxicated. While there's no conclusive evidence about these things, we do know that it can lead to endless hilarity. Anesthesia, in particular, is one chemical that often makes people do really random and weird things.
Combine that with being in a hospital and you know it's going to be a whole lot of fun for everyone reading about it on the internet. We've collected 45 of the best ones we could find online. Check 'em out.
Looks like they need to talk
It's always hilarious when people say things that they're almost certainly going to regret when under the influence. However, what this woman ended up doing was something that could potentially ruin her marriage.
While she was going through her C-section, she started talking about how her brother-in-law needed to be the first one to see the baby. Now, we don't know about you but it sounds a lot like he might be the baby's biological father. Or maybe the husband was neglecting her and she had been getting emotional support from him? We'll never know.
Still having the same conversion mentally
We've heard of people bursting out into song and speaking another language when under anesthesia, but this is just something else. This patient was telling their doctor a joke right before surgery. After the surgery was over, they continued with the joke like there had never been any interruption in their conversation.
How insane is that! It's like they were still in that moment just before surgery the whole time. Just imagine keeping a straight face while talking to your patient after that. We're sure even the doctor couldn't help but chuckle.
Hate and love to see you go
We've seen people go through lots of heavy emotions, but this woman really went through it all. One minute she was happy, the next moment she was crying. She started getting angry before crying and profusely apologizing to the nurse. Yikes!
It sounds like she was really going through something here. That being said, we can't even imagine how awkward it must have been dealing with her. We're sure the whole experience must have been just as uncomfortable and unpleasant for the person helping her recover.
I'm not even mad just disappointed
We've seen lots of embarrassing and awkward things people said and did under anesthesia, but this is just something else. This woman mistook the anesthesiologist to be the guy she had been talking to and even accused him of not showing up to their mutually agreed-on date.
What makes this so hilarious is how she said she wasn't angry, just disappointed in men in general. We wonder if anyone told her what she'd said when she came to. The awkwardness would have been hilarious.
That's my daughter
This Korean woman's Italian father, who adopted her, ended up mistaking one of the Asian nurses for his daughter. He even started talking to her under the influence. The staff just couldn't stop laughing once they realized what the confusion is all about.
This might just be one of the most hilarious stories we've ever read. We've seen people say and do all sorts of things but forgetting what your daughter looks like is epic! Nothing like a little laughter to distract you from the doom and gloom of being in hospital.
It wasn't even good sign language
We've read lots of stories online about people who suddenly start talking in different languages when under the influence or in response to some emotional trauma. However, this person wasn't even speaking in another language.
They were literally just making gestures using sign language. How hilarious is that! Just imagine being the nurse and seeing the patient waking up only to make these weird gestures that you probably don't understand. They might just be one of the most hilarious patients they've ever seen! It would be really impressive if it was good sign language though.
Because my people made it
This poor fellow just couldn't handle his anesthesia. In fact, we find his attempts to converse with the medical staff and his wife adorable. Instead of asking if he'd be okay to teach his wrestling class in a few days, he asked if he'd be okay to fight.
In addition, he somehow wound up in the frozen section of the pharmacy with a tub of ice-cream that he needed because "my people made it." Isn't that just adorable? The anesthesia seems to have brought out the child in him.
Something got crossed in their brain
We'd love it if we could somehow predict what new language someone under anesthesia is going to start talking in. This person from England, for example, started talking in Welsh in their original accent.
What was going on in their mind at that time to make them think they were somehow in Wales all of a sudden? Did they actually know how to speak Welsh or were they just speaking gibberish that they thought was Welsh? We have so many questions. All for the sake of science, of course.
Do I look like an airplane?
What really makes these anecdotes of people admitting things under anesthesia is trying to figure out the logic behind what they're saying. This person's mother, who was under anesthesia, was puckering her lips so they interpreted it as a sign that she was thirsty.
When this person asked her if she wanted some water, her response was, and this is verbatim, "Do I look like an airplane?" What does that even mean? More importantly, how is that related to drinking water? We don't know but it looks like anything is possible in this magical land.
Five golden rings
This person took the Christmas spirit right into the recovery room with them after being operated on. If we're being honest, we can't think of a better way to improve the mood while in hospital.
For some reason, they got obsessed with the song "12 Days of Christmas" and even started asking the nurses about it. In fact, they were so much in the Christmas spirit that one of the nurses started singing "five golden rings" while belting them out. It sounds like this even cheered up the staff at the hospital. Good times indeed!
"I'm preparing to salsa dance in hospital"
We've all read about people who end up in some fantasy land while under anesthesia. Others reveal long, hidden-away secrets they're probably going to regret sharing. However, this person turned into an energetic salsa dancer and we're loving it.
It's unclear whether they actually ended up dancing although we highly doubt that the doctors and nurses would allow that. Did the anesthesia bring out their long-suppressed desire to express themselves by doing the salsa? Now, that sounds like an interesting story.
He's really going to regret this
This person's brother was recovering from surgery when he started laughing while looking at their mother. In fact, the brother couldn't stop laughing and kept on telling her how unattractive she was. Ouch!
Considering how she was just helping, that's not a very nice thing to say to your mother. Even though she understands how it was the anesthesia talking instead of him, we're sure she was more than just a little hurt by this. It really goes to show how it's not always fun and games.
Expectation vs Reality: the anesthetic version
If you've ever interacted with someone who was heavily under the influence, you probably know just how different their perception of reality is from what's actually happening. This person thought they were being completely coherent after they got their wisdom tooth.
Little did they know that what they were speaking was, in fact, total and utter gibberish. Fortunately, their partner was able to translate for them. All they wanted was their wisdom tooth which the doctor refused. We can see why!
Glad f Jackson joined them
What's really amazing about the semi-hallucinogenic state that people enter into when under anesthesia is just how vivid people's experiences are, even if they're completely out of touch with reality.
For example, this person thought Michael Jackson was joining them as soon as they heard "Billy Jean" playing on the radio. How hilarious is that! Of course, that's also the last thing they remembered. Maybe they were too busting out Jackson's moves in their dreams? We wouldn't be surprised. It sure sounds like a lot of fun.
Please doctor, don't stop me now
It's always hilarious when we hear doctors recalling the funniest anecdotes they have from work. This person recalled the time they had to heavily sedate a 65 year-old woman who was too anxious before her wrist surgery.
They gave her some medication and voila, she turned into a completely different person. Can you imagine someone singing "Don't Stop Me Now" in a thick Northern Irish accent? In fact, she was so out of it that she even told the anesthetist that he looked exactly like Freddie Mercury. Of course, he looked nothing like him.
You can't keep me away, doc
We love how people just seem to get lost in an entirely different frequency of conversation when they've been anesthetized. In fact, that's what makes these anecdotes so hilarious! This person's mother was discussing whether it'd be okay for them to fly right after the surgery when they went on the most adorable little rant we've ever seen.
They were a mortuary student who were supposed to study embalming the next day. They started talking about how the doctor couldn't keep them away and that dead people needed them. Sure must have been awkward afterwards.
He really likes mustard sauce
This person's brother started drawing while under heavy sedation. Just imagine how surprised when they found out he had drawn a bottle of mustard. What makes this so hilarious is that he was 17 years-old at the time.
You'd think he'd come up with something a bit more creative, but he just really loves his mustard sauce. Come to think of it, maybe it's his subconscious expressing its undying love for mustard sauce in the only way possible at the time. Considering just how much we love Nutella, we can totally relate.
"The most beautiful women I've ever seen"
People say all sorts of regrettable and embarrassing things, but it seems like this guy ended up doing something completely different. He was so out of it that he mentioned how the hospital had the most beautiful women he's ever seen.
What makes this so adorable, however, is that the woman who was handling him ended up blushing. In fact, her coworkers even teased her a lot over how she blushed when she heard him say that. Isn't that cute?
Two hilarious stories at the same time
This person shared not one but two hilarious stories from their professional experience. The first one was someone who thought they were in afterlife. In fact, they were so convinced they were actually there, that they asked them to count from 1 to 100, backwards.
Yes, because that's how you determine whether you're in heaven or the other place. However, we think the second one is completely hilarious but also borderline creepy. The patient kept on stroking their unshaved arm and saying how it was an amazing carpet. Umm, okay? Sure, why not!
Woke up at a Chinese restaurant's buffet
Judging by these anecdotes, it seems like most people lose touch with reality whenever they're given anesthesia. However, this woman's husband was an exception. Or, he was so out of it, he didn't even know he was out of it. You decide.
He behaved normally after the surgery and had a strong craving for Chinese food. Specifically, they wanted to go to a buffet. However, he woke up at the restaurant and that was the first thing he remembered. We're not going to lie, there's worse places to wake up.
You're a chonk, you know that?
This one is so hilarious that if there was a Hall of Fame for hilarious things people said before surgery, this one would totally be right there at the top.
Despite being heavily sedated, this patient was still almost fully conscious and joked with their doctor about how they called them heavyset, because they thought they wouldn't remember anything. What makes this so funny is that that's also the last thing they remembered before going under. We're glad to see they saw the funny side of things, though. Many people would get offended or angry.
Yeah, they'll do that to you
It's amazing just how incoherent and out of touch with reality people seem to get when heavily sedated for any kind of medical procedure. For example, this woman's husband started talking about how amazing the medication was. Umm, okay?
Well, at least we can be assured that they worked, huh? Considering how traumatizing and disruptive these procedures can be on people's personal lives, we're glad to see this couple had some fun memories to lighten the mood. After all, who doesn't love a good laugh, especially after coming out of surgery?
The bloodiest smile anyone has ever seen
Considering just how minimally intrusive many dental procedures are supposed to be, it's amazing how strong the sedatives have to be to ensure the patient has minimal discomfort. This woman was on her way back home and had still been bleeding in her mouth when she just couldn't take it anymore.
Just imagine the horror if you were at a red light and saw someone in that condition in the car next to you. Honestly, we'd rather not see the bloodiest smile that anyone has ever seen. No, thank you.
I didn't ask for this, okay ma'am?
According to medical reports and studies, these anesthetizing agents can often also induce extremely volatile emotions. One moment, patients are laughing and smiling. The next, they're crying or in tears. That's exactly what happened with this person.
While they don't remember this, they had been shouting about how they 'didn't ask for this." Next moment, they became completely docile and pleaded to the nurse, "Okay, ma'am?" No wonder you need a trained professional to handle situations like this. "Normal" people would just get very scared and confused.
This is the blade we'll use today
If you've ever wondered what doctors do if the patient suddenly regains consciousness mid-surgery is or still present in some manner, this ought to shed some light on that mystery. Unfortunately, the answer isn't all that interesting.
Based on this story, it seems like the doctors probably find the whole thing just as awkward as the patients. This doctor even decided to make things more awkward by showing them the blade they'd be using to make the incision. That's the last thing any patient would want to talk about!
The most awkward thing to say
Colonoscopies are awkward enough as it is for patients. While doctors are trained to perform these procedures, we imagine it's just as awkward for them, if not more.
However, considering what this lady said to her doctor, we're sure almost anyone would be red with embarrassment. How do you even respond to something like that? Perhaps the best way to deal with this is to pretend like it never happened in the first place. That way, you even save her the embarrassment.
It's okay, my wife's a doctor
It's amazing just how out of touch with reality people often seem to get on these anesthetic agents. For example, this guy even ended up forgetting his wife's occupation. He kept on telling the doctors after the surgery not to worry because his wife was a doctor.
What makes this so hilarious is that she was a lawyer. We can already picture her rolling her eyes, trying her hardest not to laugh while he kept on insisting she was a doctor. We're sure she'll never let him forget that this ever happened.
Married to Cedric Diggory
Many people believe that what people often say when under the influence is often a reflection of their subconscious and suppressed desires. While we're no experts in psychology, we can clearly tell that this person is a huge Harry Potter fan.
More specifically, they really love Cedric Diggory, who was played by Robert Pattinson in the movie. They thought they were married to him and were inconsolable because Lord Voldemort killed him. No wonder they were cringing so hard. That being said, at least they have a hilarious anecdote to share at parties.
This was so unbelievably embarrassing
In addition to losing touch with reality and having extreme mood swings, it's also really common for patients to lose control over their bowel movements while under anesthesia. This doctor shared a story about a woman who was so gassy that the entire unit heard her.
How embarrassing is that? What's more, she even wanted a vanilla latte because she apparently also had a headache. We're sure the doctors tried their best to be professional but is it any wonder they also ended up laughing like the other patients?
She'll never forget this story
We don't know what it is about these hilarious misunderstandings that people seem to have but we just can't get enough of them. When this nurse anesthetist asked a female patient to take "nice big breaths" she thought they were referring to her chest.
They even thanked the nurse for the compliment. However, the misunderstanding was so hilarious that the medical team just couldn't help but chuckle. We're sure this is one of the funniest anecdotes they had from work.
The opera of anesthesia and Insurance
There's lots of weird and hilarious anecdotes of things people said while under the influence of anesthesia but this one is right up there. This person recalled how a patient, who also happened to be an opera singer, just couldn't stop singing after the medical procedure.
Considering how annoying that would be if she wasn't a trained singer, we think that's a good thing. What makes this really hilarious, however, is how they started doing opera versions of Rihanna's songs. That sounds like something no one in that room will ever forget.
Sorry, I thought I was a shark
Out of all the weirdest things that we've seen people say or do, this one might just be the weirdest. This person shared a story of a patient who had just come to and their first words are something we're sure they'll never forget.
They said, "Sorry, I thought I was a shark." We'd love to know all the adventures he thought he ended up having, in his head. After all, why would someone say something like that in the first place?
I'm a Ninja and we heal faster
We've seen people do some pretty outlandish things while under the influence of anesthesia, but this is so weird, we're not even sure what to say. Apparently, the sedative unearthed this ninja's identity. What makes this funny is just how serious they were about their ninja-ness.
In fact, they even tried to convince the nurse by telling them about how ninjas heal three times faster than other human beings. As soon as the nurse stopped trying to restrain them, they fell on the floor. Of course! You weren't going home anytime soon, Mr. Ninja!
Paint me please, dear nurse
It seems like anesthesia just brings out the inner movie fans in a lot of people who are put under. Take this girl, for instance, who was put under for a colonoscopy. Right before passing out, she asked the nurse to paint her like "one of her French girls."
We're sure most of you recognize this famous line from the movie The Titanic. That being said, we can totally see why she was so utterly embarrassed. We wouldn't ever be able to make eye contact again with the nurse if this happened to us.
Nothing you can do stop me
While many patients say really silly things or end up having mood swings, the unfortunate reality is that many patients also end up becoming really aggressive.
This person recalled how one patient was so out of it that they asked everybody to stand back because "there's nothing you can do to stop me." How do you even deal with a patient like that? No wonder this incident has gone down as one of the most memorable in this medical professional's life.
Phantom of the Opera with mumble rapping
Isn't it fun whenever you see people singing and dancing like no one's watching? Especially if it's very much against how those people normally behave. After all, that's the definition of fun!
That's why we absolutely love this anecdote about this person's uncle bursting into song while under the influence of anesthesia. They started with Phantom of the Opera before moving on to rap music. Say what you will, the man has versatility. We approve!
Never stop practicing
Is there anything weirder than coming to while recovering from your medical procedure to find a nurse lying on top of you? How did that even happen? That's what most people would want to know.
However, we feel like this person was more than embarrassed after they found out how. When she tried to prevent him from getting up to use the bathroom, they ended up pinning the poor nurse down using some wrestling move they'd learned. We can't help but feel for her. Just imagine how awkward the whole experience would have been.
It's okay, 5 second rule
Many of you might have heard of the five-second rule. While we're not here to question if it's scientifically valid, we're aware of how most people still use it as a way to gauge whether something that fell on the ground is still safe to eat.
However, it almost certainly does not apply to patients who fell down on the floor from the operating table mid-surgery. Actually, we don't even want to think about just how painful that could be. Fortunately, this person had straps to restrain them to the bed.
"Sir, yes sir!"
Judging by how so many people react to anesthesia, it seems like it brings out innate characteristics of their personality that might be suppressed for some reason. Or, most people lose all inhibition and react to the first thing that pops up in their head.
No matter what your opinion is, we can agree that it can often lead to hilarious consequences. Like this person, for example, who was under military service at the time the procedure was done. When the doctor called out their name, they even responded like they would in the military.
Say goodbye to your mommy
When doctors put kids under anesthesia, they'll often say soothing things to comfort the children. After all, they're kids! However, we're pretty sure the doctor picked their words poorly in this instance.
After all, what 9 year-old tells them to say goodbye to their mother while under heavy sedation? No wonder they passed out with a look of terror on their face. That being said, it's a surprisingly common thing for doctors to say despite just how wrong it can sound from time to time.
Where do you get THOSE steaks
We're not sure how anesthesia affects the part of the brain that controls the use of knowledge and logic in sentences. However, we'd like to thank it for the endless memes and hilarious anecdotes that we can now find so easily on the internet.
For instance, this person was asked what they would like to eat after their surgery. The patient replied that they wanted steak with peanut butter. What? That sounds like the worst combination of foods. Some ideas are best left to the imagination.
Woah, did I just travel in time?
How long does it take for anesthesia to actually affect the patient's nervous system? As this person would find out, it's before they even realize it. They asked their doctors the very same question two hours after their surgery.
They just couldn't believe it when their doctors told them it had been two hours since the surgery. The only explanation they could think of was that they somehow traveled in time. We honestly just can't stop laughing at how hilarious this is.
"Wow, this feels like the 70s"
We don't know what it is about these ridiculous things people say that makes them so funny, but we just can't get enough of them. Evidently anesthesia transports people across time and space, as this patient somehow ended up in the other dimension while being sedated before surgery.
In fact, they were so excited, that they said it felt like the 70s. Considering how that decade has been depicted as one of hedonism and even decadence, we can see where they're coming from.
We wonder what they were thinking of
Considering the ridiculous things that the people in this list have said, we'd love to know how they reacted when they found out. This person however still can't figure out why they said what they said.
They had just had their wisdom teeth removed and said their bones felt wet before asking for a napkin. We would love to have the insider's access to the exact moment that this happened so we can finally answer the question: what WERE they thinking? If only there was a better way to find out.
How did you get on my rocket ship?
We'd love to know what goes on people's minds when they jumble up random thoughts into a sentence while on anesthesia. This person asked their mother-in-law how she got on his "rocket ship." Is the rocket ship supposed to be a metaphor for his wife?
Or is this just some more gibberish that doesn't have any deeper meaning? We'll never know but if she did know how to actually get on rocket ships without permission, we'd like to know. For scientific and research purposes, of course.
**Disclaimer: Some photos may be stock images used for illustration purposes only. The people or places in these photos are not to be associated with the article.
Source: https://scientificfeed.com/stories/doctors-nurses-tell-funny-things-patients-said-anesthesia/
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